Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize