I want to stick my p in your. b.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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