i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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