Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
