will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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