But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she peed on how many people?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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