WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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