You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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