you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize