Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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