Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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