Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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