my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
