dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
