Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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