we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
