Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
