Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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