The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
