I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
