He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
be right there i have to get my cape
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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