How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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