She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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