Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
