Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
God, I missed his penis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
