party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
