Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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