he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
