I don't think brook has ever known best
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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