i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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