Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
