Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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