She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
