I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
