i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
