I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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