Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
