You kept calling me your small dog last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Success! We fucked roommates!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
