i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize