I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
