dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
