I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
