Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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