I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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