how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
