I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize