god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
