everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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