Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My nipple is on Facebook.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
