looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
