in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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