come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
