Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
