And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
