Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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