He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
