Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm always down for nudity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
