Where is the hickey?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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