Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
