It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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