I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
