hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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